patribus

So, I was going to the doctor's office and there was this car in the parking lot. It had a bumper sticker that said Delaware Basketball, except the D in Delaware was missing so it said Elaware Basketball. And that made me really happy. Delaware sounds so much better without the D.

Since you're a poet, Allison, I thought I'd write you a poem.

A haiku for you:

there's a duck here next
to me, on my bed. it has
a sideways mohawk

If you'd like, you can perform it at your next poetry slam. I'd definitely give you snaps.

Which reminds of of ginger snaps, which doesn't really sound like something you eat, but more of
a dog.

"Ginger snaps!"

"You should send her to obedience school. They could probably fix that."

Or a snapping turtle. Either way, the name evokes an unhappy animal.

Plus, there's the whole ginger part. No one wants to eat ginger. They should call it crispy cookies. It's descriptive (sort of... I don't know if they're crispy per se, but just not soft), and it's got the whole alliteration thing going on. Plus, they could add something like, "with a hint of ginger, proven to boost your immune system 25% within two weeks," and appeal to the health nuts.

(By the way, makers of ginger snaps, these ideas are copyrighted, so if you want to rebrand yourself as Crispy Cookies, you have to pay me.)